Beautiful and v true message :)
This was one of the best messages to stop and be a good listener-- not just to respond, but really hear. And hope the other who's listening to us, hears also.
Very well said.
Wow Thank You.
Wow! So inspiring!
Wow.....thank you....the watch teaches us to really hear what makes the other person "tick" and also what " ticks them off":)
Right, but it’s a tough one. I sometimes say innocent comments, and, boy, have I gotten an earful...
Not arguing with someone, but making small talk.
Thank you so much!
Superb. Thank you. This was exactly what I need to HEAR. No pun intended
Rabbi Sytner, I gain so much from your insightful comments!!! I owe you a tremendous debt of gratitude!l
WOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! Excellent! This was so nice!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!!!
When two people are arguing, it takes a lot of inner strength to be the first to stop, and to listen to the other person.
Every message has been spot on--but this one is fantabulous!
Helping me to watch what I'm hearing.
Rabbi Sytner is the best!
Wow! SO nice and soo true!! I 💜 Rabbi Snyder!!! thank you sooo sooo much!!
Excellent, to the point — much appreciated by all listeners & speakers.
Wow wow so amazing!!
Thank you for this beautiful message... and all the previous ones! We're working on internalizing them.
So much thought and effort goes into each one of these. They are so very much appreciated. Great stories also. Thank you so much.
That was so helpful!!! And very practical! Thank you for inspiring us!
Love this!! Thank you
Thank you. I just realized that if we are planning our response as we are listening, we miss a lot of what is actually being expressed.
Wow so powerful thank you so much
Rabbi Shlomo Alkabitz (the author of 'Lecho Dodi') had a rule for his talmidim that talmidim should rebuke one another as needed, and when someone rebukes someone, the rebuked may not respond until 3 days. This is so that he should allow the heat of the moment to pass and that he should not be dishonest and untruthful when responding. After 3 days if he feels that he has something to respond, he may then do so.
wow that is so meaningful really appreciate it
thank you so much
Rabbi - That part about listening to understand vs listening to respond seems like a key to me. Often my tendency is to prepare a quick response and while doing so cannot hear anything the other person is saying. It requires intense listening (shema as you say) not to slip into that trap. Thank U for getting the message thru so clearly.
Such valuable and important advice. Sometimes, I find myself thinking about how I am going to respond just so I have something to say, so I don't appear to be a fool. That is a problem of self-esteem, on top of the issue preparing your response in order to prove you are right instead of really listening.
I don't listen for the tick-tick, I listen for H'S' to direct me and if I don't find it, maybe there is an another lesson. I can also listen to H'S' when someone is difficult for me to listen to, like when I am in a situation where I can't leave, like a business meeting, in court, in a class, etc...
I am not convinced listening in a heated argument is worthwhile for me. Sometimes it only works me up. It is better for me to take myself out of the situation, come back when we are both calm and then I can be present and fully listen. Then if I have been given some time to pray, reflect or talk to a 3rd party, I tend to be able to reconnect with H'S'. Listening through H'S' ears is what I like to think about. How does H'S' listen? Quietly, patiently.
Thank you. So far, for me, this is one of the most meaningful messages. Now, I not only can appropriately express, to whomever I am talking, what I need in order to feel that I am being heard but, most importantly, I now have the tools to become a better, more effective listener.